belated happy birthday Michael Tan !


Michael (center) with family.

belated happy birthday (4th September) to my high school classmate Mr Michael Tan !

MacTan was as lowkey, soft-spoken and clean-cut as it got, but he was one of the more memorable members of my class more than three decades ago.

He was never too high, never too low, never too rowdy, but never too boring, never too happy and never too sad.  He knew exactly what to say for every moment, and did just enough to get by.  Which was exactly how he (and most of us) wanted it.  Laid back, cool, and just one of the guys.

One thing I won’t forget about MacTan though, and that’s the fact that we had very similar tastes in what we considered pretty, cute and beautiful.  That I won’t easily forget.

Then and now, he was someone that I could easily relate with, and it was great to see you at the 30th anniversary reunion.  Belated greetings classmate, and many happy returns!

YLB Noel

when is an ambassador not an ambassador?


thanks Ambassador Benavidez for posing with us, and Liza Jane Estalilla for taking the pic!

[ Note : pardon the backstory, but we found out first-hand that either the Republic of the Philippines‘ representative in New Zealand checks their Embassy Facebook page herself (or asks Lisa Estalilla her cultural attache to do so) very regularly, or takes very seriously its constituents’ requests, so that an FB message / request for an informal interview from YLB took all of less than half a day to answer, and if not for an official trip to the Cook IslandsPinoy community, would’ve been granted within 2 days.  It’s not everyday that an ambassador will so readily meet with a factory worker (that’s me) without a second thought, so I consider my blog lucky.  ]

…WHEN SHE’S a kabayan just like you and me, as if you didn’t know.  Before the first anniversary of her appointment as the Philippine Ambassador to New Zealand, Her Excellency (she blushes whenever she hears the lofty salutation, but it’s really part of her official name) Virginia H Benavidez had gone to nine cities around New Zealand (amazing when you consider there are only 15, and at least four times to Auckland) for the mobile consular services launched on her watch, gone to as far down south as Dunedin, less than 3500 kilometers from the South Pole, endeavored to engage, in each of her visits, the authentic face of the Pinoy migrant on NZ shores, and has batted for aggressive economic diplomacy from Day One as a way to jump start trade relations between the friendly nations.

i know that’s a mouthful up there, but in the three-quarters of an hour I shared salabat and chichirya with the good Ambassador, she was on fifth gear explaining away why a lot needed to be done by the Philippine Embassy, what she intended to do, and what she had done, getting her feet dirty right away.  And with wide-eyed little old me as her newest fan, wouldn’t you believe it?  her energy and earnestness made it impossible for me not to.

Her mobile consular efforts, which brought e-passporting to the four corners of the country, was an achievement in itself.  Concerned that Pinoys were spending much more in transportation and accommodation to Wellington than the actual NZ$80 needed to renew their travel docs, a metaphoric duh must’ve hit Ambassador Virgie on the head : why don’t we bring passporting to their own cities?  The very simplicity of the idea was novel in the fact that it had never been done before, and expectedly it was such a hit that since it started, the Embassy has not stopped reaching out to Pinoys with 101% positive results, in Auckland, Christchurch, Invercargill, Dunedin, and very soon the northernmost city on Middle Earth, Whangarei.  And it all started because a dairy worker told the Ambassador they spent more than a day’s travel and certainly more than a week’s wages for board and lodging to renew a passport.

But it doesn’t end there, as the Ambassador’s broad vision is giving birth to a few more projects.  Because of recent calamities on various points of the Pacific Rim, our embassy is one of the first in NZ’s diplomatic community to set aside time and energy for disaster preparedness, alongside of course efforts of national and local government bodies in New Zealand.  No doubt we hope the cultural zeal of Kiwis in observing health and safety in practically all aspects of living, will rub off even in small part on our lahing kayumanggi.  With the help of volunteers and safety officers, our ambassador will make sure of that.

Lastly but not the leastly, she has made it the third pillar of her ambassadorship to ramp up ways and means to increase trade between the two island nations.  NZ and the Philippines already support each other regionally and on international issues, her Excellency explains.  Buying products and services from each other is just the next step.

Quite a few other tales the good ambassador regaled us with, showing us that the world of diplomacy is not always cocktails and state dinners.  If on her last day as our envoy, she can look at the mirror and answer affirmatively the question : were you able to get up close and personal with as many kabayan as you could, and make their lives better as Filipinos, then it would’ve been a job well done.

Congrats on your first year Ambassador Benavidez, and many more successful years to come.  Mabuhay!

PS.  Many thanks to cultural attache Ms Liza Jane Estalilla for helping us make the interview possible !

scent of a kabayan


DANGEROUS COMMUTE Unmindful of the danger, commuters take an improvised trolley using the railroad tracks to cross the Padre Zamora Bridge linking Pandacan and Sta. Mesa in Manila on Tuesday. Grateful thanks to photographer RAFFY LERMA and inquirer.net.

[Note : gracias, many thanks and maraming salamat po for all your kind thoughts, prayers and contributions to Jerome and Lady Jalbuena.  woohoo! Happy birthdays to Jack Soliman (28th August), Danny Lua (3rd Sept), Michael Tan (4th Sept) and Raul de los Santos (5th Sept) ! ]

AMONG OURSELVES, we take smells identified with Pinoys for granted, until the inevitable happens and others notice it.  I discovered this once not in New Zealand but from a kabayan friend when she worked in Dubai.  There, her co-worker was the subject of small talk because of how he smelled of either fried fish (pritong isda) or dried fish (daing) that was causing consternation at the very least and his prospects for dates among the female staff (the co-worker was a Pinoy male), at worst.

Lost in the hullabaloo were two minor issues : it was up to another Pinoy (preferably my friend, who eventually had to do it) to tell him to modify or at least vary his diet, and second to enlighten the non-Pinoys around them that it wasn’t so much the food content that was bothering them (fish and other seafood) but the method of preparation, and the condiments (fish sauce, soy sauce, bagoong and the use of salt to preserve fish) that was bothering them, not that it mattered to their sensory sensitivities in a small office perpetually enclosed by central air-conditioning.  Just get rid of the smell please.

I recalled this when there appeared in our small workplace a strapping young temp from one of the island nations in Polynesia to do shift work on the flour packer.  I say appeared because you could smell him a mile away, I’m not being mean.  You could actually perceive it was him, because he was gaining quite a reputation for his funky aura, and among males who aren’t that sensitive about smell, that’s saying quite a lot.  He was friendly enough and did his work quietly and efficiently, but someone needed to take him aside and give him a little advice on using a decent deodorant.  The trouble was, who was going to place the bell on the cat?

With either or both anecdotes you could probably relate even tangentially, because to be brutally honest, smelling cleanly or decently is a big deal for most Filipinos, male or female, rich or poor, king or slave.  We don’t just want to smell good, we want to smell great, and take time to take showers and baths far beyond what usual hygiene demands.  We take pains to select the perfume or cologne that matches our personality, and the slightest odor gone awry causes or noses to wrinkle up in disapproval and olfactory outrage.

In contrast, our brown brothers in the subcontinent channel the most pungent varieties of vegetables one can think of, some of our less sensitive Kiwi colleagues smell of yesterday’s mince pie and onion soup, and it’s a bit precious of us to say it, but the workmates who both smoke frequently and don’t bother to use either breath mints or mouthwash are the hardest to bear, as the day progresses.

This is why Filipinos are, most of the time (see first paragraph pls) the most neutral-smelling or make the most effort to be smell-wise, acceptable to our peers.  We are both sensitive to how our unguarded odors might impact on other nationalities and we see (smell) first-hand how the common smells of other races can cause negative consequences on the rest of us in the workplace, the gathering or the public area.

We use anti-perspirants liberally, even though we hardly break a sweat in single-digit Celsius.  We replenish our Blue Water or Bulgari on a whim, so enamored are we with what we perceive as the understated scent of elegance.  Can we thus blame ourselves when someone who didn’t even bother to shower before coming to work has now breached tolerable levels of body odor for the second time today, and doesn’t even seem to be aware of such faux pas?

That’s why we appreciate it so much when our hosts take the time to smell good, when they not only take time to observe proper hygiene but also banish any chance of offending smells with Axe, adidas sports cologne and Eclipse after those big meals.  Those cool, multi-colored bottles don’t come cheap, but they go a long way.

We’re not the classic supermodel type, we won’t break Olympic records anytime soon, and we’re not the strongest kid in the bunch, but anytime we break a sweat, you won’t see anyone else gagging and running away.  Pinoy confidence is not just the way we smile, but also the way we smell.  Up close !

the couple who thinks of themselves least now need our help the most


IN THE unwritten code of bayanihan (neighborliness), the visitor is not just an honored guest, he is treated like a cherished member of the family.  It is common for hosts to offer the best room in the house, and it matters litle that such room is the master bedroom.  No comfort, as long as it is available, is too luxurious, no detail too small to be attended to.  Distant relations, friends of friends and townmates are all welcome; no one is turned away.  It sounds impractical in our hurly-burly workaday age, but some Filipinos as far away in New Zealand still practice this.

Such a couple is Jerome and Lady Jalbuena from Auckland, NZ and Lucena Quezon.  The short time I shared a flat with them at the City of Sails my first year as a migrant, theirs was a revolving door of guests, acquaintances and newbie migrants from the homeland.  They never hesitated to share their home with anyone, particularly those who needed temporary shelter desperately.

It was not unknown for them to take in more than one family at a time, especially when the request was urgent.  Jerome would often pick up the family at the airport himself, and Lady would share their modest warm clothing to children who were unaccustomed to the New Zealand biting cold.

It is therefore the saddest news to hear that this selfless couple is facing a challenge of sorts these days.  To ensure accuracy and the exact words of their Facebook page :

Lady Jalbuena, 35 years old was diagnosed with adreno-cortical carcinoma (cancer of the adrenal glands) three years ago. It is a rare form of cancer in that it occurs in approximately 1 in every 1 million of population. She has undergone surgery and all other relevant treatment since then. Now, her doctors have advised that, at this point, all they can offer is palliative care, i.e. keep her as comfortable as possible. Her husband, Jerome sought alternative treatments here in New Zealand but there is nothing available for her current condition. He found one that seems promising called New Generation Photo-Density therapy and so they are going to China to try this. Three cycles of treatment are needed so they will have to go to China 3 times for 2 weeks at a time.

They need to do this quickly before her condition deteriorates and she is unable to travel or become not fit enough for the treatment. They are scheduled to go on their first trip on Thursday, 6 September. Although they now have funds for the first cycle, there is still the 2 cycles that need to be funded.
This young family, with two primary school-aged girls (Juliana 9 and Leila 7), is facing considerable costs. I hope you can find it in your heart to help them in their desperate bid to prolong the life of their mother. Any help will be greatly appreciated. ( thanks to Beck Destura Garcia for allowing us to repost! )

If there’s anyone who deserves your help, no one deserves it more than this couple.  Please visit https://www.facebook.com/groups/159880294135836/permalink/159894087467790/ for additional details.

Thanks for reading and let’s all offer a prayer for Jerome and Lady !

my paradigm-shifting dad on father’s day


with grateful thanks to Jude Bautista for the pic, from left: esposa, me Tita Lily (Yang) and Dad.

[ Note : Despite NZ Father’s Day and Philippine Father’s Day celebrated on different dates, I will use any excuse to remember my dad, who is very much alive and quite healthy by the way, and besides his birthday is less than three weeks away.  Happy dad’s day to everyone! ]

MY DAD, whether or not he realizes it, is a product of at least two aspects of his generation.  First, that of the reality that Asian fathers are more or less emotionally inaccessible to their offspring, and possibly even to their spouses.  Second, he grew up in a traumatic war period where to utter or make any gesture considered disrespectful to our Japanese invaders often resulted in dire, sometimes fatal results.  The result is many fathers coming from his generation consider it not only normal but also practical to be distant from most members of their family, to both survive and to carry on “normally” as many Asian families do.  Leave the feel-good and mushy stuff to Moms and female members of the family, I could almost hear this generation say.

That’s why it took a sea change for my own father when his turn came to be a dad.  He wasn’t touchy-feely and the type who announced a “group hug” all the time, but he never spared any efforts to show how much he cared for all of his sons.  He never hesitated to give (or for that matter, ask) for a hug and kiss from me whenever he got home from work.  Asians are famous for being “inscrutable” and circumspect, and in that respect Dad was/is traditional, because he had a countenance that was perfectly neutral in front of new acquaintances and strangers.  But before friends and loved ones, he always chose to engage rather than resist exposing his feelings and emotions.

He never ignored the template though.  He expected and received unconditional respect from all of his sons, and in return he gave them his unconditional love.  He made all the final decisions that concerned the family, but most of us knew that Mom was just letting him say out loud what made her happy.  Appearances and saving face, after all, still counted in the traditional Pinoy family.

At the end of the day, when I think of all the good things my dad did to me, did for me and did despite me, nothing trumps just being there and being both a towering and nurturing presence in our lives.  In his child’s eyes, a father cannot help but come to his life great and awesome, it is his life’s challenge to humanize himself, bring himself down to his/her level, and hold his child’s hand forever.

This you did with flying colors Dad, and I will never stop being grateful for that.  I love you so much, advance happy birthday, and for the second time this year, happy Father’s day!

happy happy birthday Dodie de Guzman – Gutierrez !


Dodie with her lovely family !

happy birthday (1st September) to Dodie de Guzman – Gutierrez !

I first met Dodie in the 1980s when I cross-enrolled in UP Manila summers and later, during regular sems. Though she belonged to the org to which I was unofficially accepted, we became fast friends almost naturally.

She was witty, full of great ideas that would change the world, and best of all, was funny as a guy.  She would understand our crude jokes but would come up with zingers of her own, never ran out of cool comebacks to our trying-to-be-cool one-liners and, looking back, was certainly one of the most important members of the barkada.  That was Dodie.

Years and years later, she has undergone the adventures of a lifetime, and yet has the rest her life ahead of her.  She has been a migrant, a pharma executive, an academic, and now, a devoted wife and mother to three.  She has done everything she set out to do, and still she says she has not even begun to live.

But no matter what great adventures await you Dodie, thanks for the years of friendship with Blitz and UP Manila, and for hosting us last July at your lovely home in Quezon City.

Happy birthday, hope you spend your happy day with friends and loved ones, and many happy returns!

 

happy 15th anniversary to Tom & Ining Agustin !


I hope I don’t put too much pressure on them, but when I think of Tom and Ining, the words model couple come to mind.

Not in the materialistic sense, for they are not materialistic as I commonly understand the term.  Instead, they live comfortably as any two-job family does, enjoy two lovely and obedient 🙂 daughters in Keem and Meg, and derive pride and satisfaction from a married life based on love and commitment.  You can’t do much better than that.

But it wouldn’t be a realistic picture without the trials and challenges that face any couple that’s in for the long haul.  They’ve of course been through the ups and downs and hills and valleys of most marriages.

I say most because not all couples tough it out, endure the storms and blizzards of all relationships.  But Tom and Ining are not like most, in fact they seem to do better as the tests and ordeals become harder.  And in the end, as you might expect, each one of them, plus the marriage, becomes stronger.

From your respective families, friends, colleagues and kabayan, happy anniversary and many many more to come!