[ Maraming maraming salamat Arlene and Jun Ahorro, Arlene Gill and Aline Parrone and George and Hazel Bautista for their supreme kindness and hospitality during our trip to Auckland, may we return the favor someday soon! ]
WE DON’T guarantee 100% success; in our fallible imperfect world, nothing does. But having had the benefit of experience, knowing our Pinay sisterhood since we were very young (and that was quite a few summers ago), we believe we are eminently qualified to help you, precious reader, from as my audacious title suggests, dodging potentially awkward situations with your Pinay loved one.
The fundamental disconnect between cultures and values, the yawning divide between races and religions (or lack of same) and the clash between generations and familial priorities are some of the sources of friction between Pinays and their significant others, who would otherwise be genuinely and sincerely in love, but it could be anything, as little as a momentary or wayward glance to an innocent phrase or comment that could open the proverbial can of worms.
First awkward situation. While you are in the company of Pinay loved one, you encounter a pretty lady. Do you (a) strike up a conversation, attract her attention and hope your Pinay loved one doesn’t notice, (b) be friendly in a guarded manner, but only if the hot lady is herself friendly first (although that’s highly unlikely), or (c) ignore her completely. If the answer isn’t obvious, I’ll tell you what I’d do.
This was what happened: on our way to Auckland to catch the Ogie Alcasid concert, a very rare appearance by a world-class Filipino performer in this part of the world by the way, and on the discount flight to the City of Sails, I found myself seated next to a very attractive Kiwi woman. From my peripheral view, she was slim, smartly dressed and didn’t seem to have any companion. Of course, to my left was Mahal, who was ready to raise an eyebrow and flash a pout of disapproval if I so much as turned my head and display my famous Pinoy charm on said Attractive Kiwi Woman.
The flight was sixty-five minutes long, Mahal fell asleep somewhere between Wellington and Auckland and there was little reading matter to occupy my wandering mind, save for the usual glossy airline/travel mag that wasn’t exactly in the John Grisham or Stephen King neighborhood. Did I talk to or even attempt to look at Ms Attractive Kiwi Woman?
The short answer is no. 😉
Common sense, a desire to not stoke any embers of the time my conscience was less than virtuous and my eye was a little more than wandering, and the recognition that I was much better off letting sleeping dogs lie, were compelling reasons for my course of action, despite the fact that outside Mahal, encountering pretty young women and sitting this close to them was about as often as seeing more than a handful of stars as well as the moon on a clear Manila night, the odds of which is the equivalent to slim to none.
Which brings me to my valuable lesson : whenever you are with the love of your life, specifically your Pinay love, and you meet at close quarters a female topping 8 out of 10 on the hotness scale, ignore said female. Pretend that she doesn’t exist and devote even more attention than usual on your beloved. Whether or not she notices, it’s a win-win. If she does, well you get a good-little-boy pat on the back. If she doesn’t, well all you lost was the chance to admire a fine young thing while testing your steely resistance to temptation; you can always ogle the next nice-looking lady the next time, of course this means the next time you’re not with your Pinay Lady.
Second situation. You are the judge-by-default when your Pinay love selects dresses and stuff for her party / night out. She asks you in succession does this dress highlight my assets, de-emphasize my less flattering parts and in general, make me look prettier? The good news is the answer is easy, the dress does none of those things. The bad news is she’s right there’s waiting for an answer in a New York minute. What to do? Do you (a) tell her all is good, yes yes yes and she looks like a supermodel; (b) bite the bullet and tell her the dress doesn’t do anything for her, she looks 10 years older in that awful dress and please donate it to the needy or anyone else who’ll want it, or (c) tell her exactly how the dress might have been good for her, had she had the right skin color, height and vital statistics? Remember, there’s no middle ground and you can’t give her a safe, wishy-washy opinion.
You want her to look at her best but at the same time you don’t want to hurt her feelings and ruin her day. The problem with Pinays is they take their appearance very seriously and believe that, though they already look good on their own and are as beautiful as any other race on the planet, they have to trounce the competition and must claim their birthright of being the most desirable women on Earth.
I’m not sure if my answer fits into the category of (a), (b) or (c), but I would tell my Pinay love that whatever she wears is immaterial to me, because she is the only beautiful woman in my life, and ultimately the opinion of others does not count. Of course in reality this answer will not be the one she is looking for, but this is one case where what you think isn’t as important as how the other person feels, and believe me, dear reader, how your Pinay love feels is very important.
Thanks for reading!
- cheat sheet red flags for pinay admirers (ylbnoel.wordpress.com)
- Rule one, be a Pinay (catchaforeigner.wordpress.com)
- reblog from Pinoy Stop : Tao po, Ramil & Marie Garcia and kids of Lower Hutt Wellington (ylbnoel.wordpress.com)
- pinagmamalaking kabayan nars sa USA, UK, NZ atbp 🙂 (ylbnoel.wordpress.com)
- Proud to be Pinay! (cherylazarraga.wordpress.com)
- Pinay in Boston Marathon: ‘I hope they catch who did this’ (rappler.com)
- ang pikon laging talo unless… (ylbnoel.wordpress.com)
- What I miss most in the Philippines (pauinwonderland.wordpress.com)
- holding stones in front of a katutubo’s glass house (ylbnoel.wordpress.com)