holding stones in front of a katutubo’s glass house

any stone will do. :)  thanks and acknowledgment to alloveralbany.com

any stone will do. 🙂 thanks and acknowledgment to alloveralbany.com

I HAVEN’T updated you for some time now, so this will be haphazard and harrassed, sorry in advance.  Just this morning echoes of my ATM sentiment was laughed at by a co-worker, who said that men who turned over their entire wages to their spouses were like men who didn’t wear the figurative pants in the family.  For him, women possessed a wide latitude of functions and privileges in the conjugal partnership, but handling the treasury wasn’t one of them.

I hasten to tell you that this co-worker is definitely not a Pinoy, not Asian, is talented and skilled in his own right but belongs to one of the races in NZ that is popular for appearing in  courthouses, Work and Income New Zealand and Child Youth and Family.  I respect this co-worker but I often remember him for his strong opinions.  Today was no different.

[ In other words, I don’t say he’s one of those people that he represents, but just the same a lot of his people are like that.  So there. ]

I told him almost immediately that a majority of Pinoy husbands surrender the budget management prerogative to their better halves because the latter are closer and more familiar with the essential purchases of the family, and because these procurements make up the lion’s share of the weekly earnings, it’s practical and convenient to just give them blanket decision-making powers at the soonest time.

That’s not the point, Mr NZ Katutubo said.  Since you and your wife are both working, you should both decide jointly and as a team how you spend your money, and meekly handing over your plastic to your esposa sort-of emasculates your income-earnerhood.  Strong words, I know.

I didn’t want the discussion to get complicated, but I seemed to remember that when he was married (and he was, once upon a time), my colleague had weekly arguments over the phone with his wife (within earshot of everybody else) over how money was being spent.  Truly he was hanging on to his wages, but every time payday arrived, there she was his missus ready with her harangues of pay this, pay that, when will you come up with enough money for your children and other sweet nothings.

I was also itching to ask my workmate of 5 years that since he felt so strongly about maintaining his financial independence from anyone, if he had reaped any success by way of savings, investments, or money set aside for a rainy day.

It would be poor form for me to recall it at the time, but he told me once that his credit card debt was so serious (nearly six figures, dollars yun ha) that his wages were devoted just to paying the minimum payment due.  Just when he would be able to pay off his credit card debt, well only God knew.

I also noticed that his car, iPod, and just about every newfangled gadget and item on the market he simply had to have as soon as it was advertised; that was just the way he was and nobody could convince him otherwise.

No wonder he guarded his purchasing and budgeting habits so jealously I silently concluded, particularly against his wife or rather, his ex-wife.

So I could surmise that although he felt strongly against surrendering impulsive and non-essential spending to a more conscientious spouse, he probably was a traditional, albeit reluctantly compliant husband before.

Against his arguments, I wanted to tell him that Pinay wives are typically more responsible financially (though not always), prudent and by nature think of the family first.  Therefore any potentially frivolous spending is cut down in favor of the essentials like food, petrol, maintenance of house and car, and appliances.

I also wanted to argue that men are predisposed to making rash decisions when exposed to eye candy and stimuli like flashy ads, gaudy promotions and curvy salesladies.  In this regard, I bow to common sense and better judgment and just consult anything that requires fishing out more than coins and small bills from my threadbare wallet to the lady that has computed my weekly wage even before I receive it.

Lastly, I wanted to tell him that just by looking at his car (third in 18 months), celfone (late model Samsung Galaxy) and his apparent savings (slim to none, just guessing), he was in no position to make snap judgments of how people manage their funds, whether by cutting up their plastic or by abdicating decisions in favor of the marital common good.  As they say, people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

But, him being all of 100-plus kilos, my senior at work and super-willing to give out an opinion but not so willing to hear one, I guess it will have to wait another day.

Thanks for reading!


2 thoughts on “holding stones in front of a katutubo’s glass house

  1. Pingback: cheat sheet red flags for pinay admirers | YLBnoel's Blog

  2. Pingback: dodging awkward situations with your pinay wife / gf / partner | YLBnoel's Blog

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