[ Note : In no way do I intend to demean the romance of courtship, especially between Kiwis and Pinays, with such a blog title; it’s just borrowed from a gaming magazine that focuses on tips and tricks for getting ahead in wins, levels and scores. Sorrys all around for all those unconvinced. Belated happy birthdays to Wilfred Chua (1st Jan), Hilton Ngo (1st Jan), Ong Bun Hua Jr (2nd Jan), and Dr June Tiu-Lim (5th Jan). Thanks for reading ! ]
AT WORK, in the mall, at the Asian store, in church, and everywhere else people gather, you see them. Usually, it’s the Kiwi husband and Pinay wife, but sometimes it’s the mirror reverse, the Kiwi wife and Pinoy husband. They’re not many, but their numbers are rising. The common wisdom is that Asians make good partners because they take care of their spouses, are good around the house, and rate high on the loyalty area.
But the reality is each happy couple is happy in its own way, and it wouldn’t take too much analysis to predict that racially mixed or “blended” families in NZ are the wave of the future. And if the dating websites, dating services and personal ads on mixed media have anything to do with it, that wave of the future will be one that a lot of our kabayan will be riding on, as more and more Kiwi men look for engaging, romantic and loyal counterparts from the Pearl of the Orient. Not just because we come from the same place, but we think our Pinay compatriots, positioned in an array of beauteous Asian candidates, enjoy a decided advantage over many other sisters of the yellow, brown and mocha races.
I won’t get into that, because you and I already know about those advantages. Stay with your strengths, and gloss over your weak areas seems to be the can’t-miss advice for Pinays who’ve suddenly caught the eye of a lonely Kiwi internet surfer. But there are certain pearls of wisdom, tried and true, which if you abide, will jack up the odds in your favor. The odds, that is, of getting here with the greatest ease and the least drama :
Don’t push it. Don’t talk like you’re eternal soulmates fated to find each other in this frozen moment in time, or that there’s not a minute to waste before your bodies are joined in an inseparable embrace and that you can’t wait to bridge the distance between Manila and Auckland, in the first five minutes of live chat. Trust me, that is probably the surest way to never see or hear from him again. This is the best advice I can give you, because while Mr Kiwi Guy is viewing you (or your photo) and trying to come up with something cool and politically correct to say, fate, soulmate or marriage are not in the list of desirable chat words and replies at the moment. So, again : don’t push it. For now.
Learn and/or practice English. Oo naman, I know you already speak English, and good English at that. But two qualifiers. First, iba po ang English spoken with fellow Pinoys versus English spoken with foreigners. Second, Kiwi English is a bit different from American English, the latter being the English we’ve learned from school, absorbed from media, and acquired from the internet.
These two qualifiers will hit you like a bucket of ice water if you’re not ready for it, and it will do you a world of good to be ready. High on your to-do list is to conduct an English-speaking campaign with yourself (if you talk to yourself) and with friends family and everyone else you interact with. Believe me, every little bit helps. Next on the list, and I’m assuming you don’t have many Kiwi friends (yet) is to visit the NZ news websites like http://tvnz.co.nz/ or http://3news.co.nz/ which have newsreaders born-and-bred in NZ. Bottom line is Kiwi English isn’t that different from what we know, but learning it makes a difference.
Get to know him. Making yourself easy on the eyes, ears etc is a two-way street, he should be good enough for you too. I hope you don’t scare easily, but it’s important likewise to know within the first 15 mins if he’s not a crazy; the lights could be on but he might not always be in, if you know what I mean. The good news is the most helpful clues are the most obvious ones, and the best impressions are the first. Whether or not it’s intended, the first virtual date will tell you if he has a tendency to be a womanizer, sex-crazed, or worse, a pervert. And in many cases, tendencies are more than enough.
Learn his culture, faves and hobbies. This isn’t as much a biggie as the others, but they might help. Many Kiwi blokes are DIY and car enthusiasts, I’m afraid I’m not much help there, but I do know that they love to talk about tools, car races and tinkering with their engines. Kiwis love rugby, cricket and sports in general, but are particularly fond of rugby union, as New Zealand recently won the 2011 Rugby World Cup, and are certainly proud of that. These are by the way sports that are hardly followed, much less played in the Philippines, so expect a little disconnect whenever he raves about his favorite players and teams. And that’s why it might pay to look them up, the sports I mean, on Google and Wikipedia and other sites.
Don’t be a hard-sell. You’re not selling encyclopedias, vacuum cleaners or insurance. Which means you don’t have to hard-sell him. You are essentially selling him the concept of a Pinay relationship, which when you think about it, isn’t a hard-sell at all; if anything, he should be selling to you a Kiwi relationship. (I’m just boosting your morale kapatid) This means on your qualities alone you have more than enough. Therefore, it’s strongly advised that you don’t use pity or compassion to go to the next level; don’t talk about invalid relatives, tuition fees needed for siblings or convalescing elders. Don’t insist on a face-to-face unless he asks for it first, and even then make sure he’s serious.
Above all, and I can’t stress this enough, don’t ask for money for any reason unless it’s a life-or-death thing, and even then think many times before doing so. You might not appreciate erring on the side of caution for now, but in the long run it will be worth it.
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That’s it. I don’t pretend to be an expert on Kiwi blokes, but I am a guy, and I know quite a few Kiwis in happy relationships with kabayan. I’ve also seen two people hook up from day one, so I know a little whereof I speak. The fact that you are chatting and talking at all is a clear sign that he is interested in you, and from there only good things can follow. Not everything ends happily but it’s pointless not to be optimistic at this time.
Good luck, and God bless !
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