[ NOte from NOel : They’re nowhere near that stage, and we want them to enjoy their young adulthood / disposable income stage, but just the thought of seeing Panganay, Ganda and Bunso produce 3rd generation NOelitos or NOelitas is enough to get a rise out of us each time we surrender to the temptation of such thoughts. We wondered why we were so confident of being a better grandpa, and came up with these reasons. Please include in your prayers not only the 3 OFWs executed in China but also those imprisoned in Thailand, Malaysia and the Middle East. Thanks for reading! ]
Lots of room for improvement – Let’s face it, we went through the motions, gave it the old college try, but on the whole, we were less than mediocre at fatherhood. We paced the obligatory pacing area at DR, bought the cigars and drew up the ninongs/ninangs list, excitedly showed off the neonates at the nursery ( newborns were still kept from the moms until they were ready to be brought home ), but from there everything went downhill.
We won’t be remembered by the suplings for educating, providing and inspiring, which traditionally are the pillars of examplary daddyhood, and coupled by our absenteeism and constant cutting of corners, we left much to be desired. On the bright side, we made so many mistakes we’ve got practically a library of what-not-to-do and what-to-avoid tips ( still sore from pounding our head to keep from repeating such ), which we’ll only be too glad to impart and pass on to the apo’s, captive audience that they are.
Selfish reasons – You want to see the kids be good parents, or at least be better than you ever were. For that, you’ll do everything in your power to help them to raise their kids right, and of course there’s the additional incentive of having great grandchildren (not great-grandchildren, haha). If only for that reason, we’ll be there for the kids’ parties, doc’s appointments, soccer / basketball games, and summer vacations. If ever they need extra advice, an extra hug ( or even extra baon ), you can count on us to be there, as sure as our own folks were there for Panganay, Ganda and Bunso.
Patience, tenacity and conviction – To our mind, these are the cardinal qualities needed by a doting Lolo, and for some reason we feel we will own them. To be sure, we’ve never known ourselves to be a patient parent, and for sure you won’t hear that description from our progeny, and deservedly so. Many times, our short fuse, frustrated sighs and dismal E.Q. generated tampo, dour moods and a disproportionate amount of grief far beyond the flash of irritation we gave vent to.
But over the years, we learned that extra patience, biting your lip, counting to 10, and exhaling were all useful devices in dealing with someone in their own learning years, learning to crawl / walk / text / dribble (substitute the memorable activity your descendant was trying to learn with your help) and moreover, they were extra grateful for it.
Tenacity, cuz 99 out of a hundred situations, kids need only the extra effort, extra step and extra move to get them over the hump of unfamiliarity with whatever they’re learning. the extra ingredient to do it? Love and enough concern to make sure that they can start doing things on their own. Not a moment sooner too, as we certainly need the break 🙂
Conviction, because you know after years and years of experience, hard knocks and muscle memory that by being a darn good lolo, you are doing the right thing. And no temporary distraction, middle age crisis or carnal pleasure can convince you otherwise.
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And if after everything, you still needed incentive to become the best ever “winning” Lolo / Lola there is, you only have to dwell on the thought that mega celebrities like Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan and ( sorry to put you in their company ) President Noynoy will in their lifetimes never be able ( or won’t be allowed ) to become card-carrying grandparents the way you are on your way to be. I know the last one’s a weird thought, but let’s count our blessings, be grateful for each day given us, and thank God if the opportunity to see our future apo’s is a realistic one.
Thanks for reading, and mano po Lola and Lola !
- Things 2 Do B4 I Die ( If I’m Mayan) (ylbnoel.wordpress.com)
- Short Note to Ganda (ylbnoel.wordpress.com)
- Sample Doses of Love & Other Drugs (ylbnoel.wordpress.com)
- Wednesday Merienda With Panganay, Wellington McDo CBD (ylbnoel.wordpress.com)