[ Note: Please, huwag sana isipin ng Reader na nagmamalaki o nagyayabang ang inyong lingkod na blogger, gusto ko lang ishare ang aking experience lalo na’t nagiging usapin ang IELTS at related exams ngayon sa Pinoy community. Nothing in this post should be considered legal or immig advice, thanks for reading! ]
“I’M VERY SORRY, but only passports are an acceptable form of identification”, sabi ng test person sa akin. Wala akong dalang passport, kaya nag Uber ako pabalik sa bahay at balik agad sa testing site. All along iniisip ko yung mga sinabi ng mga exam candidate ko: take 2, take 3 na ako Kuya, medyo mahirap ang Listening portion, at nakakapagod (4 hours) ang exam, pero laban lang.
Laban lang, pero hahabulin ko muna yung time limit na binigay sa akin ng IELTS proctor.
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Kailangan kong linawin, hindi IELTS ang kinuha kong exam kundi ang equivalent, ang Pearson Test of English (PTE) exam. Ginawa ko ito dahil di kasing hirap at yun ang pinaka-malapit sa schedule ko, advise ng immigration adviser namin ni Mahal. Shine-share ko lang ito dahil sa bagong requirement na ipinataw ng National Government ng New Zealand tapos tumanggap ng 130,000+ na bagong dating, at di na raw kayang Work Visa status na ganun kalaki.
Before you apply for the RV, get the IELTS out of the way, sabi ni adviser, and among other things asked me if I had $400 plus tax, not a small amount, but a necessity if I were to continue with my journey of migration.
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The test is divided into four areas: Listening, Reading, Speaking and Writing.
Sa Listening, makikinig ka sa isang paragraph na babasahin sa yo from an audio file. Pagkakwento sa yo, bibigyan ka ng mga tanong na sasagutin mo base sa mga napakinggan mo sa kwento. Obviously, dahil nga Listening ang pagsubok, walang codigo o text na pwedeng asahan para sa mga sagot.
Halimbawa: Babasahan ka ng paragraph tungkol sa byahe mula Manila hanggang Baguio, kasama na ang mga bayang dadaanan mo, mga stopover at mga magagandang tanawin. Mga posibleng tanong: ano ang unang bayang mararating paglabas ng Metro Manila? Ano ang stopover sa gitna ng biyahe? Ano ang magandang tanawin bago umakyat sa bundok ? Et cetera. Halimbawa lang ito, walang previous knowledge ang kailangan mo, lahat ay base sa ibabasa sa yo ng audio file.
Definitely, mas madali ang Reading, may ipababasa naman sa yo at tapos ay tatanungin ka base sa mga kwentong nabasa mo. Di masyadong mahihirapan ang mga kabayan rito dahil sanay naman tayo from our elementary and high school studies.
Unfortunately, ang susunod ay ang Speaking part ng exam, at dito hirap ang mga kabayan natin. Literally, pababasahin ka ng ilang mga paragraph ng common, everyday English at may time limit ito. Ige-grade ka sa linaw ng pagbigkas at tamang pagbaybay ng Ingles sa luob ng time na nakatakda.
Sa personal na karanasan ko, di naman ako nahirapang masyado sa Writing section (pang-apat). Papa likhain ka nila ng maigsing paragraph o kwento na parang sagot sa tanong nila, for example, write how you might prepare your favorite dish in simplest terms, ganon.
For now, mapapayo ko lang na maghanap tayo ng mga kakukuha lang ng mga IELTS o Pearson, at humingi ng tutorial. Meron ding mga tutorial course, di ko lang alam kung magkano sya online.
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After a crazy Uber ride and several near-misses, nakarating rin ako sa testing site in 45 minutes, dala ko na ang passport. Thank God, pumayag ang proctor na paupuin ako uli sa exam. Humabol at humabol ako sa mga nauna sa akin, nangangalahati na yung iba.
Nakatulong sa akin na four hours yung exam at may five minutes na rest period between the four major sections.
Dahil siguro sa adrenaline ko at sa hilig ko magbasa, natapos ko yung exam.
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Kahit bulakbol at iskul bukol, di ako absent nung tinuro ng guro mga natanong that day. Naipasa ko yung exam. Expected ko na, mababa ako sa Speaking, pero OK naman sa ibang sections.
Maipapasa mo rin kabayan ang IELTS o Pearson, pero dapat mong paghandaan. Walang imposible kung kakayanin.
Pakisend lang sa comment section sa ibaba kung may mga tanong. Ise share ko kahit anong naalala ko, pero the rest is up to you. Pagpalain sana tayo ng Diyos.
[ Note please that nothing in this blog should be considered as legal or immigration advice. Your Loyal Kabayan gratefully thanks and acknowledges the FB Live video / blog of immigration lawyer Atty Augencio Gene Bagsic (Bagsic Law) from which a lot (but not all) of the factual and legal background was obtained. Thanks for reading! ]
ON AVERAGE, Mahal sees around 20 or so Asians daily at the store she minds along with three others in their retail business (I can’t tell you what it is but it involves a service nearly everyone uses). Out of this number, more than half are kabayan or Filipinos, and that should tell you how nearly everyone in the Pinoy community in our East Auckland suburb is familiar, or at least is aware of Mahal and the efficient, friendly service she provides.
Early last week, a Pinoy asked her if she knew anyone worried about their current immigration situation, because based on recent events, he and his family certainly was.
Di ko na alam kung tatagal pa kami rito Ate, three years ang visa ko pero andaming bagong requirements.
Marami ring nagkwento sa akin na may mga bagong requirements, napusoy na di lang mga andito kundi mga paparating pa lang, sagot ni Mahal.
Mahal replied that yes, she had heard similar comments from other Filipinos, something she shared with me over dinner that day. We learned that new requirements not just for incoming or applying work visa holders but for existing WV kabayan or those already here.
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This is unusual for two reasons. Changing the rules is usually prospective or going forward, and shouldn’t apply to those who already arrived based on previous rules, based on fairness and commonsense. Otherwise people would always be looking over their shoulder and wondering if the height of the basketball rim will be raised or lowered tomorrow. (figuratively). Secondly, all affected by the rule are often given a short period of time, ranging from a few weeks to a few months, to prepare for the changes. The new rules took effect “with immediate effect” or instantly, meaning that very same day.
An existential issue is looming not just with our kabayan work visa holders but all migrant workers who want to build a life on top of the migrant dream.
Ayoko pang umuwi Ate, kararating lang ng pamilya ko, at andami naming utang na babayaran pa. Tatlong taon ang visa ko pero di ko alam kung makakastay pa kami ng mag-ina ko, said Bongski, who had become a regular customer of Mahal.
Below are instant thoughts this kabayan blogger, as a former work visa holder wants to share. They are not meant to be advice of any sort, just my kuro-kuro based on nothing more than my experience.
Huwag gamitin ang emosyon – one of the best things I’ve heard from a successful kabayan is, try to keep emotions to a minimum in any business situation (and a work visa relationship with NZ certainly qualifies as one. You and I entered into business relationship with New Zealand, meaning we have something to benefit from on either side, not because we like each other or want to help each other (though that may sometimes be part of the reason).
When something changes, like when there are already too many migrants in the workforce (I’m not saying this so, example lang po) or when migrants from some countries have abused the rules through fraud or illegal activity (not mentioning any names 🙂 ) either party may get out or change the relationship, although syempre between the work visa holder and New Zealand, NZ is certainly in a stronger position to do so. Love, friendship or similar stuff is not part of the equation.
Alam ko, nagpundar na tayo ng buhay natin at mahabang panahon para lamang makarating dito. Sa karamihan sa atin, umutang ng malalaking halaga maitustos lang lahat ng travel expenses parating rito. Masakit nga kung tutuusin. Pero walang pumilit sa atin, at it’s self-defeating kung pairalin natin ang emosyon tulad ng galit or kalungkutan sa sitwasyon ng work visa.
sort your paperwork. this is for both existing and applying WV holders. you have time while waiting for your papers to be processed, organize and file your paperwork needed for your migration, including work related documents like certificates of employment, SSS contributions, taxes withheld from your wages or salaries, and virtually everything related to your work. You will 100% need this not just for applying, changing or reapplying for your work visa but also for any other transaction between you and the government. Things look desperate now but something may change on the horizon, like a new job, new training.
Develop yourself. For the kabayan who already have their visas, you have 2+ years to retrain. If you’re a welder, try to become a master welder. If you’re a hammer hand, try to learn the skills to become a carpenter. I’m not sure about the terms, but you know what I mean. Try a different industry, especially if you’re interested in different things. Don’t be afraid to retrain, it’s a great way to explore new income options, and it just might be the way to residency in New Zealand.
Dont give up hope, magbabago ang ihip ng hangin. I spent more than 10 years here in New Zealand with a Labour coalition, a National coalition, Labour governing alone, the pandemic, and so many other situations. Ang daming nangyare, minsan akala na namin di na kami mabibigyan uli ng visa at uuwi na kami. New rules were proposed all the time, and ended up not becoming hard rules anyway.
Wag mawalan ng pag-asa, dahil habang buhay, may pag-asa.
[ Note : a Tagalog translation appears below. The pic above is AI-generated. Thanks for reading! ]
Dear Kabayan
The silence of my room is deafening, a stark contrast to the chaos that churns within me. My husband, once my rock, has been unmasked as a modern-day Casanova, his intelligence matched only by his insatiable appetite for forbidden pleasures.
My soon-to-be former husband is highly capable IT engineer, multi-skilled and sociable family man. He has been my dependable partner in all facets of life, and until recently I saw him as a devoted, responsible and mature (for his age) person that, after our last child left the nest, I would spend our empty-nest paradise with.
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His career in the Middle East was a facade, a stage for his duplicitous acts. While he toiled under the desert sun, he also wove a tangled web of romance, ensnaring women whose hearts knew nothing of his deceit. And as if one act of betrayal was not enough, he cast his net wider, reaching the shores of New Zealand where another unsuspecting soul awaited him, dreaming of a life together.
We have been partners in family, building lives not just for ourselves but more so for our children. Perhaps I overlooked the fact that marriage is not just a partnership but a continuing romance between spouses. But considering the pain, selfishness and chaos he put us through, I quickly take that back. Nothing I have done justifies what he did.
The situation is full of irony, as I trusted him so much, he who was a complete master of fraud and deception. Total lies in return for total trust. Then and till recently, naively I now realize, I never ever opened or even touched his tools to communicate, whether it was his phone, emails or personal papers. It happened only accidentally as I needed to retrieve some official documents needed for our family’s immigration, so that I had to, with his full knowledge and consent, scroll through his messages since time immemorial.
Such was his belief in my total trust that he gave me all his passwords and access to his emails, assuming in all his arrogance that I would ignore anything other than what he asked me to retrieve.
But it was not women’s intuition, a dread or sixth sense that drove me to open not a couple, or few, or even dozens of messages. It was the stark and everyday reality of all those messages from multiple senders. Of appointments to be kept. Of gifts to be sent. Anniversaries to be remembered and celebrated. None of them concerning me. Figuratively, they cluttered his inbox and notifications so much that I had to keep scrolling just to avoid them, until I couldn’t.
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I was at mesmerized, first with disbelief, then, anger, then despair. Suddenly, all those unexplained absences through the years and radio silence made sense. First, he could explain it away with so many things. No signal, then no free time, then finally, that old dependable, plain fatigue and tiredness from work. He carried on with not one, two or even three liaisons, I can’t even count them anymore.
To his credit, he put up a brave front, denying everything at first, then pointing to “hacking” and malware that invaded his private data, then finally, he admitted to his affairs one by one. Particularly cutting was the fact that these relationships weren’t the one-off or temporary kind, but year-long, enduring and obviously emotional relationships to him.
All the while, he orchestrated our family’s migration to New Zealand, a masterful conductor of lives, unknown to me. His paramours, one a hidden shadow in the Middle East and the other a waiting embrace in New Zealand, were pawns in his grand charade.
I just needed to get this off my chest: the discovery of his multiple relationships, each more casual than the last, paints the portrait of a man addicted to the thrill of conquest, a serial womanizer who danced on the edge of moral precipices. Yet, when confronted, he retreated into a fortress of denial, refusing to acknowledge the wreckage of hearts he left behind him.
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Even while I was trying to make sense of what had happened during all the time not just I but our entire family trusted him, he hit me with another figurative hammer blow: besides the woman he helped bring to New Zealand, yet another party came to view in our polygamous scenario, a much younger, thoroughly naive temporary visa holder he managed to befriend, beguile and seduce in a matter of weeks. As a sex-addicted womanizer, he is truly in a class of his own.
How does one reconcile with such a man? A man who is a paradox, both brilliant and base, capable of deep love yet equally profound betrayal. Is there hope for redemption, or is the chasm too wide to bridge. I have nothing to gain by sharing my story with you, save to remind and maybe protect my fellow women from future addicts like my partner, who I now recoil from at the mere thought: never fully trust, always leave a little of yourself, just for yourself. For you never know what tomorrow will bring.
Alma a newly adjusting migrant.
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Ang katahimikan ng aking silid ay nakakabingi, kabaligtaran ng kaguluhan na sumisira sa loob ko. Ang aking asawa, dating aking haligi, ay nabunyag bilang isang modern day Casanova, ang kanyang talino ay katumbas lamang ng kanyang di maubos na pagnanasa para sa mga ipinagbabawal na kaligayahan.
Ang aking magiging ex ay isang mataas na kwalipikadong inhinyero sa IT, may maraming kasanayan, at isang magaling makisama at maaasahang padre de pamilya. Siya ay naging aking mapagkakatiwalaang kasosyo sa lahat ng aspeto ng buhay, at hanggang kamakailan ay itinuring ko siyang isang tapat, responsable, at mature (para sa kanyang edad) na tao na, pagkatapos magtapos ng huling anak, ay aking makakasama sa gagawin naming paraiso at empty nest.
Ang kanyang karera sa Gitnang Silangan ay isang pagkukunwari, isang entablado para sa kanyang mapanlinlang na mga gawa. Habang siya’y nagpapakahirap sa init ng disyerto, siya’y nagtahi rin ng magulong kuwento ng pag-ibig, linambat ang mga puso ng mga kababaihan na walang kamalay-malay sa kanyang panlilinlang. At parang hindi pa sapat ang isang pagtataksil, kumalat pa ang kanyang lambat, umaabot sa mga baybayin ng New Zealand kung saan isang walang kamalay-malay na dalaga ang naghihintay sa kanya, nananaginip ng buhay na magkasama.
Kami ay naging magkasosyo sa pamilya, nagtatayo ng buhay hindi lamang para sa aming sarili kundi higit pa para sa ating mga anak. Marahil ay hindi ko napansin na ang pag-asawa ay hindi lamang isang kasunduan kundi patuloy na pagmamahalan ng mag-asawa. Ngunit sa lahat ng sakit, pagka-sarili, at kaguluhan na dala niya sa atin, mabilis kong itinatanggi ang aking sinabi. Wala akong ginawang nagbibigay-katuwiran sa kanyang ginawa.
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Ang sitwasyon ay puno ng irony, sapagkat sobra akong nagtiwala sa kanya, siya na isang dalubhasang mandaraya at manlilinlang. Buong kasinungalingan bilang kapalit ng buong tiwala. Noon at hanggang kamakailan, ngayon ko lang narealize, hindi ko kailanman binuksan o hinawakan ang kanyang mga gamit maging ito man ay kanyang celfone, email, o personal na mga dokumento. Nangyari ito nang aksidente lamang, dahil kailangan kong kunin ang mga opisyal na dokumento para sa imigrasyon ng aming pamilya, kaya’t kinailangan kong, sa kanyang buong kaalaman at pahintulot, mag-scroll sa kanyang mga mensahe mula pa noong unang panahon.
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Ganito ang kanyang paniniwala sa aking buong tiwala na ibinigay niya sa akin ang lahat ng kanyang mga password at access sa kanyang mga email, sa pag-aakala na sa lahat ng kanyang arrogance, hindi ko ito papansinin maliban sa mga bagay na hiningi niyang kunin ko.
Ngunit hindi ito bunga ng intuwisyon ng isang babae, takot, o animo’y sixth sense na nagtulak sa akin na buksan hindi lamang ilang mensahe, kundi marami, o kahit daan-daang mensahe. Ito’y dahil sa malinaw at araw-araw na katotohanan ng lahat ng mga mensahe mula sa iba’t ibang nagpadala. Mga takdang dapat tuparin. Mga regalong dapat ipadala. Mga anibersaryo na dapat alalahanin at ipagdiwang. Wala sa mga ito ang tungkol sa akin. Sa makabuluhang paraan, nagkalat ang mga ito sa kanyang inbox at mga abiso, kaya’t kinailangan kong mag-scroll nang mag-scroll para lang maiwasan sila, hanggang sa hindi ko na kaya.
Ako’y nagulat, una’y hindi makapaniwala, pagkatapos, galit, at pagkatapos, pagkawalan ng pag-asa. Bigla na lamang naging malinaw ang lahat ng mga hindi maipaliwanag na pagkawala at katahimikan sa radyo. Una, marami siyang paliwanag. Walang signal, pagkatapos, walang libreng oras, at sa huli, ang dating matibay at simpleng pagod at pagkapagod mula sa trabaho. Patuloy siyang nagpatuloy hindi lamang sa isa, dalawa, o tatlong relasyon, hindi ko na nga mabilang.
Itinanggi niya ang lahat sa simula, pagkatapos, itinuro ang “hacking” at malware na sumalakay sa kanyang pribadong data, at sa wakas, inamin niya ang kanyang mga pag-aaffair isa-isa. Lalo pang masakit na ang mga relasyong ito ay hindi lamang pansamantala o pansamantala, kundi pangmatagalan, matibay, at malinaw na emosyonal na ugnayan para sa kanya.
Habang lahat ng ito ay nangyayari, siya’y nag-organisa ng pagmimigrasyon ng aming pamilya sa New Zealand, isang magaling na kunduktor ng buhay, na hindi ko alam. Ang kanyang mga kalaguyo, isa’y isang lihim na anino sa Gitnang Silangan at ang isa’y naghihintay na yakapin siya sa New Zealand, ay mga piyesa sa kanyang malaking pagpapanggap.
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Ang pagkatuklas sa kanyang maraming ugnayan, bawat isa ay mas pababa sa pagiging seryoso kaysa sa huli, ay naglalarawan ng isang lalaking adik sa kasiyahan ng pagkapanalo, isang sunud-sunod na manliligaw na sumasayaw sa gilid ng moral na bangin. Gayunpaman, kapag kinonfronto, siya’y nagtatago sa isang kuta ng pagtanggi, ayaw aminin ang pagkasira ng mga puso na iniwan niya sa kanyang paglisan.
Habang ako’y nagmumungkahi ng kahulugan sa mga nangyari sa buong panahon, hindi lamang ako kundi ang aming buong pamilya ay nagtiwala sa kanya, bigla niya akong binigyan ng isa pang malupit na pag-atake: bukod sa babae na tinulungan niyang dalhin sa New Zealand, may isa pang partido na lumitaw sa ating poligamya, isang mas bata, lubos na walang malay na may temporary visa na kanyang naging kaibigan, nilinlang, at niligawan sa loob lamang ng ilang linggo. Bilang isang lalaking adik sa sekso, siya’y tunay na nasa kanyang sariling kategorya.
[Summary: Microsoft Copilot defines the Tagalog term “ungas” as both an adjective and a noun, and we will cherrypick from both. As an adjective, it can mean among many things “rude,” and as a noun, it can mean among many things a person who “lacks common sense or understanding.” New Zealand has a serious housing problem, and all the numbers you need to know are that one in three Kiwis need to rent (don’t own), and only a fifth of all renters believe their flats are affordable. that’s why a fair number (though not a majority) of landlords can afford to be ungas, sad to say. A Tagalog version appears right below the original post. Thanks for reading!]
PERFECT IS NOT a word we use lightly, but the flat was nearly perfect in almost every way, and Mahal spead mental check marks all over the place on the viewing that day. Brand new renovation (no sign that it was an old house actually), new carpet smell, wooden tile flooring also new, still-in-packaging cooking range and heat pump, double-glazed windows and sliding doors not just in the living room but in the master bedroom as well.
Sigh, we could practically sense behind our backs all the admiring glances of all the other viewers and visitors that the letting manager was guiding around the place. This will be snapped up in a minute and the lease will be signed before the end of the day, Mahal signaled to me telepathically.
Except that it wasn’t, it was on the TradeMe site another few days, and shockingly, the property manager (who was actually the owner, first question mark) called us up to say, congrats, you’ve been chosen! We dropped everything that day to return to the place, hardly believed it was happening, and signed everything in sight. Mahal is a hard customer to please, but she told me Noel, this is the flat we’ve been waiting for, halos lahat ng mga gusto natin andito na (actually mga gusto nya), kung meron ka pang alinlangan mga minor na lang yan, wag na nating palampasin. And so, that was that, bond and deposit paid, and we were the tenants of this guy, for lack of a better name, called Ungasis.
Even during that first visit, which was supposed to be all smiles, there was already one or two red flags that came up, but looking back we were destined to just ignore.
First, how were we chosen and what did we have over the other candidates? We would’ve made the short list for sure, as we were both working, non-smokers, didn’t have any pets, and to be honest, were neither too old nor too young. But so did a lot of other families that must’ve applied for the flat. Later, I was to learn that we had just the right number of occupants for the landlord’s place. Four persons for four rooms. I know, ridiculous, right? More later.
Not even before the end of the first week, settling in, things had already gone to a rocky start. We needed to take off a sliding drawer (non-functioning, for aesthetic purposes only) to connect a washing machine hose. Out of practicality we decided to ask help from the landlord/property manager, not that hard as he also happened to be our next-door neighbor.
No way, he said.
That is not my role was the answer he gave in his email. He could send the tradesman (plumber, carpenter or builder) he regularly worked with, but we would have the pay the guy ourselves. By the hour.
Was he for real??? For a fixture he owned, in his house, that we were using for the first time??? Yes, he was serious and obviously didn’t want to get involved. With an issue in his own house.
But Ungasis was just warming up.
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He took particular issue with our male flatmate who had become friends with us. Why? Because to continue from above, the maximum number in his flat of four rooms was a grand total of four people, including our three-year old Baby Dumpling. No allowance for kids, couples and room-sharers. That meant that one of our two flatmates had to go, along with their share of the rent.
To allow him to stay temporarily, I explained to the landlord that our flatmate (admittedly the fifth out of four allowable occupants) was already seeking new lodgings and was just asking for a little time,
Ungasis’s response: I suppose he can stay, but I need to know exactly how much longer he will be staying, and whether or not he will really honor a hard deadline, in compliance with which he would regularly remind us.
We decided on six weeks, and it was at that point when we realized that Ungasis more than fully deserved the name we had given him. If this blog wasn’t a child-friendly site, I’d have a few more well-deserved but salty aliases for him.
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Perhaps it was fitting that Jon (our guy flattie) was the one who discovered that Ungasis, every few days was pretending to walk by our flat (it’s part of a compound that includes his own house and another, three in all).
This was odd in a couple ways. First, it’s not just awkward but a bad look for landlords to frequent their tenants’ areas if it isn’t for an official visit or scheduled inspection, based on my own experience. It makes the tenant feel that he’s snooping on them and doesn’t make for good relations. Secondly, as our unit sits on the farthest corner of the compund it is impossible to just “pass by” or incidentally walk by, unless one really wanted to have a look at our flat.
Unless of course, you’re Ungasis, who later we realized was checking if we were mowing the irregularly shaped lawn and/or whether our guy flattie had left already. At that point, around two weeks in, we were already avoiding him like bad breath or COVID, or maybe both.
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Six weeks in, and things had gone from worse to worst. Scratches on the paint and dimples caused by bumps from furniture, easily smoothed over (literally) in all our previous flats, were a major no-no from him and he implied it would affect our “standing” with him. He had cited us several times from blocking the “common” driveway, our teeny-tiny Mazda Demio that we just idled 15 minutes or less for groceries or purchases. Yet again, he reminded us about the lawn, which was puzzling as there was no way from his angle he could’ve seen it, unless as above narrated, he just happened” to pass by.
It cost us an arm and a leg, but we needed to move out, five months and the aggravation was beginning to get to Mahal, who went out of her way to avoid Ungasis, a tall order as the latter lived on the front lot that all compound occupants needed to pass through. Salvation came in the form of a flat located even nearer both Mahal’s place of work and daughter Dumpling’s daycare. Again, our application was a long shot, there were lots of interested tenant candidates, but miraculously we were chosen.
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Lots of lessons learned, probably not enough space before you start to get bored with this post. Just to scrape out a nugget of wisdom, and so you won’t make the same mistake we made, here’s what we got out of that painful episode of Flatting 101:
Be very concerned if your potential landlord is also your property manager, and a double red flag if he is thirdly, your neighbor as well. Nowadays, a lot (but not all) landlords use a property manager to oversee the general administration of the flat, rent collection, maintenance etc etc.
For all parties, it is better if the landlord is not physically and emotionally involved in his property. A lot less drama, and a lot more enjoyment out of renting.
Thanks for reading!
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PERPEKTO ay hindi natin madalas na ginagamit na salita, pero ang apartment ay halos perpekto sa halos lahat ng paraan. Si Mahal ay naglagay ng mga mental na tsek sa lahat ng dako noong araw na iyon. Bagong-renovate (walang palatandaan na ito ay dating lumang bahay), amoy bago ang bagong carpet, bagong wooden tile flooring, at bagong range at heat pump na nasa packaging pa. Hindi lang sa living room kundi pati sa master bedroom ay may double-glazed windows at sliding doors.
Nakaramdam kami ng mga tingin mula sa ibang mga viewers at bisita na kasama ng property manager. Akala namin ito’y agad na mabibili at pipirmahan ang lease bago matapos ang araw. Pero hindi, ilang araw pa itong nasa TradeMe site. At gulat na gulat kami nang tawagan kami ng property manager (na siyang may-ari pala) at sabihing, “Congratulations, kayo ang napili!” Agad kaming bumalik sa lugar, hindi makapaniwala na totoo ito, at pirmado ang lahat. Si Mahal ay mahirap pasayahin, pero sinabi niya sa akin, “Noel, ito na ang flat na matagal na nating hinihintay. Halos lahat ng gusto natin ay nandito na (o kung tutuusin, nandito na ang gusto niya). Kung may mga alinlangan ka pa, mga minor na lang ‘yan, huwag na nating palampasin.” At ganoon nga, bigay agad ng bond at deposit, at kami ay naging tenant ng isang taong ito, na itatago natin sa pangalang Ungasis.
Kahit noong unang pagkita, na dapat ay puno ng ngiti, may mga red flag na nakawagaygay. Pero sa pagtingin ko sa nakaraan, tila itinadhana na namin na ito’y balewalain.
Una, paano kami napili at ano ang nagbigay sa amin ng anuman laban sa ibang mga kandidato? Siguradong nasa short list kami dahil pareho kaming may trabaho, hindi naninigarilyo, walang alagang hayop, at totoo lang, hindi kami masyadong matanda o bata. Pero marami pang ibang pamilya ang nag-apply para sa flat. Sa huli, natuklasan ko na kami’y napili dahil tama lang ang bilang ng mga tao para sa bahay ng may-ari. Apat na tao para sa apat na kwarto. Alam mo, nakakatawa, ‘di ba? May iba pa akong sasabihin mamaya.
Hindi pa tapos ang unang linggo, may mga problema na. Kailangan naming baklasin ang isang sliding drawer (hindi functional, pampaganda lang o estetika) para ikonekta ang hose ng washing machine. Sa praktikal na dahilan, nagdesisyon kaming humingi ng tulong sa may-ari/property manager, lalo na’t siya’y kapitbahay namin.
Pero hindi raw puwede.
“Hindi yan ang papel ko,” ang sagot niya sa email. Puwede niyang ipadala ang kanyang trusted tradesman (plumber, carpenter, o builder), pero kami ang magbabayad sa lalaki. Per hour basis.
For real??? Para sa isang gamit nya, sa kanyang bahay, na unang beses naming ginamit? Oo, seryoso siya at wala siyang balak makialam. Kahit may problema sa sariling bahay.
Pero si Ungasis ay nag-uumpisa pa lang.
***** ***** *****
Ang sobrang ayaw nya ay sa aming lalaking kasamahan sa apartment na naging kaibigan namin. Bakit kamo? Dahil, tulad ng nabanggit kanina, ang maximum na bilang ng tao sa kanyang apartment na may apat na kwarto ay apat lamang, kasama na ang aming tatlong-taong gulang na si Baby Dumpling. Walang pahintulot para sa mga bata, mag-asawa, o mga nagsha-share ng kwarto. Ibig sabihin, isa sa aming dalawang kasamahan sa apartment ay kinakailangang umalis, kasama ang kanilang bahagi ng upa.
Upang payagan siyang manatili pansamantala, ipinaliwanag ko sa may-ari na ang aming kasamahan sa apartment (bagamat siya ang panglima sa apat na pinapayagang mga residente) ay naghahanap na ng bagong tirahan at humihiling lamang ng kaunting oras,
Ang sagot ni Ungasis: puwede naman siyang manatili, pero kailangan kong malaman kung gaano katagal pa siya magpapakalat, at kung talagang susundin niya ang matigas na takdang oras, na palaging ipinaaalala sa amin.
Napagkasunduan namin ang anim na linggo, at sa puntong iyon ay napagtanto namin na si Ungasis ay higit pa sa karapat-dapat sa pangalan na ibinigay namin sa kanya. Kung hindi lang itong blog na pambata, may ilang walang-hiyang alias pa sana ako para sa kanya. 😤
***** ***** *****
Marahil ay angkop na si Jon (ang aming kasamahan sa apartment) ang unang nakadiskubre na si Ungasis, tuwing ilang araw, ay nagpapanggap na dumaan sa harap ng aming apartment (ito’y bahagi ng isang compound na kasama ang kanyang sariling bahay at isa pang bahay, tatlo sa lahat).
Ito ay kakaiba sa dalawang aspeto. Una, hindi lang ito nakakailang kundi masamang tingnan para sa mga may-ari ng apartment na palaging dumadalaw sa mga lugar ng kanilang mga tenant maliban kung ito ay opisyal na pagbisita o iskedyul na inspeksyon, base sa aking sariling karanasan. Ito’y nagpaparamdam sa mga tenant na sila’y minamasdan at hindi nagiging maganda ang relasyon.
Pangalawa, dahil ang aming unit ay nasa pinakamalayong sulok ng compound, hindi lamang basta “dumaan” o napadaan nang hindi sinasadya, maliban na lang kung talagang may interes kang tingnan ang aming apartment.
Maliban na lang, siyempre, kung ikaw ay si Ungasis, na sa huli ay napagtanto namin na sinusubaybayan kung nag-aalaga kami ng hindi regular na hugis na hardin at/o kung umalis na ba ang aming kasamahan sa apartment. Sa puntong iyon, mga dalawang linggo na ang nakalipas, kami ay uma-iwas na sa kanya na parang mabantot na hininga o COVID, o baka pareho pa.
Pagkalipas ng anim na linggo, mas lalo pang lumala ang sitwasyon. Ang mga gasgas sa pintura at mga dimples na dulot ng pagkabangga ng mga kagamitan, na madaling maayos (literal na) sa mga nakaraang apartment namin, ay malaking hindi puwede sa kanya. Ipinahiwatig niya na ito’y makakaapekto sa ating “standing” sa kanya. Maraming beses na tayong pinagsabihan dahil sa pag-block sa “common” driveway ng aming maliit na Mazda Demio, na minsan ay iniiwan lang namin nang 15 minuto o mas kaunti para sa mga groceries o pagbili. At muli, ipinaalala niya sa atin ang hardin, na nakakapagtaka dahil wala siyang paraan para makita ito mula sa kanyang anggulo, maliban na lang kung gaya ng nabanggit kanina, “nagkataon” na dumaan siya.
Ito’y nagkakahalaga ng malaking halaga, pero kinailangan naming umalis. Lima na buwan at ang pagkairita ay unti-unti nang sumasagi kay Mahal, na ginagawa ang lahat para iwasan si Ungasis. Hindi madali ito dahil si Ungasis ay nakatira sa harapang bahagi ng compound na kailangang daanan ng lahat ng mga residente. Ngunit dumating ang kaligtasan sa anyo ng isang apartment na mas malapit sa lugar ng trabaho ni Mahal at sa daycare ng aming anak na si Dumpling. Muling nag-apply kami, kahit malabo, at sa awa ng Diyos, kami’y napili muli.
***** ***** *****
Maraming aral ang natutunan, marahil kulang na espasyo bago ka mabagot sa post na ito. Upang kunin ang isang butil ng karunungan, at upang hindi mo gawin ang parehong pagkakamali na ginawa namin, narito ang aming natutunan mula sa masakit na karanasang ito sa Flatting 101:
Mag-ingat kung ang iyong potensyal na may-ari ng bahay ay siya ring property manager, at dalawang malalaking red flag kung siya’y ikatlo, kapitbahay mo rin. Sa kasalukuyan, maraming (pero hindi lahat) na may-ari ng bahay ang gumagamit ng property manager upang pangasiwaan ang pangkalahatang administrasyon ng apartment, koleksyon ng upa, at pagmamantini, at iba pa.
Para sa lahat ng panig, mas mainam kung ang may-ari ng bahay ay hindi personal na nakikialam sa kanyang ari-arian. Mas kaunti ang gulo, at mas marami ang kaligayahan sa pag-uupa.
[Summary : billions of dollars are spent on marketing worldwide on spreading the word on how flavorful, tasty and classic good, world-class beer tastes. With or without these billion dollar campaigns, do you think, as long as the brown bottle feels good, the millions of kabayan OFW the world over will actually care? thanks for reading! ]
“SIGE MAMILI ka na ng beer mo Mahal,” Mahal (we call each other the same thing) told me last Saturday on the grocery run, which signaled to me that it was one of the few times we had a little left over from the weekend pamalengke (grocery) budget, and I nearly stumbled running over to the liquor aisle of our corner supermarket.
I’m not an alcoholic by any means but I like my bubbly every now and then: The nice smooth buzz that a drink will give you the first sip, and after that, the superpower to become more talkative, charming and engaging.
Worldwide and anywhere you see an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW), besides the adobo and sinigang, the karaoke and the money always set aside to be sent home, there’s the brown bottle that’s an essential part of OFW culture.
This time, in my haste, I selected without looking a six-case that looked almost exactly like the brand I like to pick, esp because they’re often on sale. But I didn’t notice first that they were a bit cheaper, and second that they were displayed apart from where the regular beer was placed.
***** ***** *****
Imagine my misery when we got home, and Mahal pointed out that, wait, did you really want the ZERO-alcohol version? Since I never chose the non-alcohol version, it certainly wasn’t my intended.
The funny part was, the first two swings of the beer, I actually felt a buzz. Was this the beer, or was this the muscle memory of my brain and nervous system from several thousand bottles drinking the same thing over and over?
***** ***** *****
The buzz disappeared in milliseconds. It was more a fragment of millions of memories of buzzes past, when I thought I was preparing myself for another fuzzy experience of funny juice, and all the exhilaration and embarrassment felt between the first and last drinks.
Which led to the question that I know every OFW everywhere all over the world will answer the same way, as it allows them to forget the work, the financial problems, the requests of the extended family back home, just for a tiny wee while:
Do you drink your beer for the flavor, or for the buzz?
The answer is so obvious we leave it unanswered for you, kabayang OFW.
[Note:in a wayward and twisted sense, February or buwan ng mga puso (the month of hearts) was a good time to read the letter-writer of our last blog post, and since today is still part of that month (thanks to the 29th) we use this month to post our late late answer. In case you’re interested, the original letter is reproduced below. BTW, the image above is AI-generated. thanks for reading! ]
Dear kabayan:
First of all thanks for your letter and your (what I’m assuming is) complete and utter honesty about your recent history or love life, if I may call it that. I don’t know where to begin, so instead of thinking of ways to advise or lecture you, I want you to know that your situation is very relatable.
Not to encourage you or anything as your decisions hurt a lot of people, but your problem is not unique. We once had a girlfriend, or thought i had one who in reality kept four of us in a relationship, so I’m actually on the other side of your story. But enough of that.
Particularly for OFWs who are physically and sometimes socially mobile, moving around often and meeting new people not just in new jobs and cities but also countries and continents, getting lost in the midst of multitudes is an occupational hazard. sometimes intimacy and familiarity become alien and aloof, when one suddenly finds an opportunity to open up an get vulnerable, the results can be unexpected.
I’m not condoning what you did, Ray-Ann, but I am saying that what happened has happened. You can’t change the past anymore. If you value your family, and your relationship with your wife, then you have no choice but to make amends.
Do you need to tell her your secret or secrets? I think you do, but only for damage control. You don’t need to tell her the whole truth, at least not in one swing, that may be too much to take for her. You DO need to tell her about former lovers threatening to communicate with her, if she/they haven’t already.
My advice to the receipt keeper? Just cut off contact completely, let her do what she needs to do. I wish you good luck.
Noel
The original letter below:
Dear Kabayan Noel ,
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to you because I am in a sticky situation and I need your advice.
I am a migrant worker from the Philippines, and I have been working in different countries for many years.
During my time abroad, I have had many relationships with women, most of them intimate. I know that what I have done is wrong, and I feel guilty about it.
I have a loving wife and family back home, and I know that they would be devastated if they knew about my infidelity.
***** ***** *****
My first stint abroad, like many kabayan, was in the Middle East. I grabbed the first placement available, even though it didn’t pay that well and the placement fees were deducted from my salary. Halos wala na ring natira.
Nakilala ko si Maritess* sa isang bible study na organized nang patago, dahil as you know, bawal ito sa kaharian ng mga Muslim. Gusto ko lang makahanap ng kabayan, babae man o lalaki. Di ko akalaing mas malungkot pa sa akin ang mga kababaihan. di ko sinasabing wala akong mali Noel, pero kung motibo ang batayan, mas nagbigay ng senyales si M. Pagkatapos nun ay nagkita kami nang ilan pang beses, pero laging patago at laging may bahid ng hiya sa sarili, dahil alam namin na pareho kaming may asawa.
Dahil ito ang una kong relasyon sa labas ng marriage, ito ang nagbigay sa akin ng pinakamatinding guilt o hiya. Kahit nasabi ko sa sarili kong di na ako madadapa muli ay sumuko ako agad sa tukso.
***** ***** *****
As would prove to be a pattern, guilt and self-respect would always give way to lust and the path of least resistance. In my second stint, also in the Middle East, I accidentally met Sarah*, a high school friend of my wife’s, and realized we had long-suppressed crushes on each other from long ago. Again, she made the first move and who was I not to accommodate ?
Although subtle at first, her signals were unmistakable. She kept staying behind after the weekend sing-alongs and on the pretext of it being unsafe for an unescorted, much more unmarried (supposedly) woman in a Muslim country, finally asked to stay the night. I had no qualms sharing the room but not the bed, an inconvenience she shooed away as soon as the lights were out, literally jumping on my banig without so much as a pasintabi po. Akala ko nakikipagharutan (being frisky) lang sya out of boredom, but I guess we were both bored. Things escalated quickly, and the fact that S was connected to my wife didn’t even brush my conscience. It was to be my undoing later.
***** ***** *****
By the way kabayan, I’m not good-looking by any standard, and nobody would give me a second look. I do however have a sense of humor and I’m willing to listen and give anybody more than the usual two minutes if it means humoring them or giving them a chance to share their problems and grievances kahit sandali. Maybe that’s why I attract more than my share.
My final extra-marital encounter was to be in my country of destination, here in the land of all our migrant dreams. I’m guessing even you are a beneficiary of the promises of New Zealand. Although I’m in a major city now, I started in smaller town where I met Aubrey,* a friend of a friend in again of all things a church group, which are the easiest events to join because there is no pressure to enter or leave, and usually the motives for joining are sincere and harmless.
Because the other person involved was also waiting for her family to rejoin her here, she was vulnerable, and I honestly thought she had no intention of starting a relationship with me. But in the rural areas if you’re not comfortable in front of a PC or laptop, then actual human interaction is really the next best thing. As you know Filipinos tend to keep company with their own kind, and this actually made possible the situation of getting to know each other better.
We were like teenagers, stealing into each other’s rooms without other people knowing, when in fact, looking back, probably the whole community knew. We were both good actors, acting formally, almost aloofly in front of others as soon as we had established a relationship that we knew would be frowned upon by the small community in that town. I left after a year, knowing that it was the practical solution not just for me but especially for Aubrey, much younger than me who has her entire life ahead of her.
***** ***** *****
The problem is that my past is starting to catch up with me. I have left many relationships hanging (not just the ones I spoke about here), and I fear that one of these women will come forward and expose me. I am worried about the consequences of my actions, not just for myself but also for my family.
Multiple stabs of guilt have changed Sarah’s views about me, and she has considered coming clean to my wife (her friend) about what happened between us in the Middle East. Only my pleas for her to rethink or at least delay her decision to “confess” has stopped my marriage from totally shattering.
I also made the mistake of converting a physical relationship with Maritess into an online one. Little did I realize that she kept “receipts” or screenshots of our sometimes adults-only conversations and now threatens to send them to my family, unless I help her come to New Zealand. Needless to say, I’m only a lowly worker and have little idea how to do so.
Indeed, I’m in a mess that eats me up daily and stresses me out of my wits. I can only blame myself for everything.
I am conflicted about what to do. On the one hand, I want to come clean and confess everything to my wife. I know that this would hurt her deeply, but I feel that I owe it to her to be honest. On the other hand, I am afraid of the consequences of my actions. I fear that my wife will leave me, and that my family will be torn apart.
I am writing to you because I need your advice. What should I do? Should I come clean and confess everything, or should I keep my past a secret and hope that it never catches up with me? I value your opinion, and I hope that you can help me make the right decision.
[ the pic aboveis not about the subject of this post, it’s just arepresentation.thanks for reading! ]
ANO ANG REASONABLE na panahon para sa yo, kasamang OFW or former OFW, na maghintay bago mapili o maging residente ng isang bayang pinaglilingkuran mo?
Pagkatapos mong mag-settle down, dalhin dito ang pamilya mo at sanayin at kilalanin ang bagong kapaligiran, kailan mo masasabing, o sige handa na akong maging regular member ng lipunan dito , di na ako bisita at makikinabang na rin ako sa proteksyon at benepisyo nitong nilipatang bayan?
Sa karamihan ng aking mga natanong, anywhere from three years to five years, mayroon mga umaabot ng 10 taon, depende unang una kung pasok ka na sa requirements at nasa tamang (immigration) pathway or category. May mga exception na lulampas pa riyan, di makaabot ng requirements or minamalas at at naaabutan lagi ng bagong rules.
Pero record na siguro itong nakilala kong 16 years na work visa holder at malapit nang mawalan ng pag-asa bago nakapag-apply nang liyamado at finally nabigyan ng pinaka-inaasam na NZ Resident Visa?
***** ***** *****
That’s the story of my friend Rey, who didn’t mind our using his real name, but stopped short of allowing use of his pic. (That’s not him in the pic by the way, it’s just a representation of him. 🙂 ) He arrived here with family when US President Barrack Obama was still in office, found out he wasn’t eligible for many of the pathways (or immigrant pathways) that the advice he received told him he was a strong candidate for residency. And then for one reason or another he found a way to stay, and stay, and stay, and then… but let him tell you how it happened na lang:
When did you arrivein New Zealand?Any specialreason you chose NZ?
I was overaged then (for Australian residency) when we arrived in NZ in 2007. During that time, we were also waiting for the approval of our permanent residency in Canada. (Obviously, their Canadian application was denied.)
Did you start to give upbecoming PR(Permanent Residency) at any time here?
After applying for how many times, and even after hiring an Immigration Lawyer and failed. We almost lost hope.
(in our conversations with him, it was either one thing or another. Kung hindi kulang ang wages nya, kulang ang position nya. If he was OK in one category, he was lacking in other categories to fully pursue asuccessful residency application.)
***** ***** *****
(When all seemed lost and Rey’s family had run out of options, the 2021 Resident Visa scheme was announced, whose requirements Rey fit perfectly. Just in time, as there was no other option for Rey outside of going back home, after 16 years, had the 2021RV not been offered.)
And finally did you feel likethe one off (the One-Off Residency Visa) was the answer to all your family’sdreamsand frustrations?
Well, it’s like thanks for making us residents after more than 10 years. At least our sacrifices paid off.
(Rey and family became part of the 84,000 successful applicants under the 2021 Resident Visa program, a badly needed blessing, parang huling huling last bus talaga.)
Their only regret ? At the time of their approval, Rey felt that by then, they had become too old to be eligible to buy and be approved to borrow money for property. But the waiting was worth it.
Hard work, tyaga and a little prayer pays off. In this case a little of all, for the last 16 years.
(edited for brevity and clarity. The pic above is AI-generated. Thanks for reading!)
Dear Kabayan Noel ,
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to you because I am in a sticky situation and I need your advice.
I am a migrant worker from the Philippines, and I have been working in different countries for many years.
During my time abroad, I have had many relationships with women, most of them intimate. I know that what I have done is wrong, and I feel guilty about it.
I have a loving wife and family back home, and I know that they would be devastated if they knew about my infidelity.
***** ***** *****
My first stint abroad, like many kabayan, was in the Middle East. I grabbed the first placement available, even though it didn’t pay that well and the placement fees were deducted from my salary. Halos wala na ring natira.
Nakilala ko si Maritess* sa isang bible study na organized nang patago, dahil as you know, bawal ito sa kaharian ng mga Muslim. Gusto ko lang makahanap ng kabayan, babae man o lalaki. Di ko akalaing mas malungkot pa sa akin ang mga kababaihan. di ko sinasabing wala akong mali Noel, pero kung motibo ang batayan, mas nagbigay ng senyales si M. Pagkatapos nun ay nagkita kami nang ilan pang beses, pero laging patago at laging may bahid ng hiya sa sarili, dahil alam namin na pareho kaming may asawa.
Dahil ito ang una kong relasyon sa labas ng marriage, ito ang nagbigay sa akin ng pinakamatinding guilt o hiya. Kahit nasabi ko sa sarili kong di na ako madadapa muli ay sumuko ako agad sa tukso.
***** ***** *****
As would prove to be a pattern, guilt and self-respect would always give way to lust and the path of least resistance. In my second stint, also in the Middle East, I accidentally met Sarah*, a high school friend of my wife’s, and realized we had long-suppressed crushes on each other from long ago. Again, she made the first move and who was I not to accommodate ?
Although subtle at first, her signals were unmistakable. She kept staying behind after the weekend sing-alongs and on the pretext of it being unsafe for an unescorted, much more unmarried (supposedly) woman in a Muslim country, finally asked to stay the night. I had no qualms sharing the room but not the bed, an inconvenience she shooed away as soon as the lights were out, literally jumping on my banig without so much as a pasintabi po. Akala ko nakikipagharutan (being frisky) lang sya out of boredom, but I guess we were both bored. Things escalated quickly, and the fact that S was connected to my wife didn’t even brush my conscience. It was to be my undoing later.
***** ***** *****
By the way kabayan, I’m not good-looking by any standard, and nobody would give me a second look. I do however have a sense of humor and I’m willing to listen and give anybody more than the usual two minutes if it means humoring them or giving them a chance to share their problems and grievances kahit sandali. Maybe that’s why I attract more than my share.
My final extra-marital encounter was to be in my country of destination, here in the land of all our migrant dreams. I’m guessing even you are a beneficiary of the promises of New Zealand. Although I’m in a major city now, I started in smaller town where I met Aubrey,* a friend of a friend in again of all things a church group, which are the easiest events to join because there is no pressure to enter or leave, and usually the motives for joining are sincere and harmless.
Because the other person involved was also waiting for her family to rejoin her here, she was vulnerable, and I honestly thought she had no intention of starting a relationship with me. But in the rural areas if you’re not comfortable in front of a PC or laptop, then actual human interaction is really the next best thing. As you know Filipinos tend to keep company with their own kind, and this actually made possible the situation of getting to know each other better.
We were like teenagers, stealing into each other’s rooms without other people knowing, when in fact, looking back, probably the whole community knew. We were both good actors, acting formally, almost aloofly in front of others as soon as we had established a relationship that we knew would be frowned upon by the small community in that town. I left after a year, knowing that it was the practical solution not just for me but especially for Aubrey, much younger than me who has her entire life ahead of her.
***** ***** *****
The problem is that my past is starting to catch up with me. I have left many relationships hanging (not just the ones I spoke about here), and I fear that one of these women will come forward and expose me. I am worried about the consequences of my actions, not just for myself but also for my family.
Multiple stabs of guilt have changed Sarah’s views about me, and she has considered coming clean to my wife (her friend) about what happened between us in the Middle East. Only my pleas for her to rethink or at least delay her decision to “confess” has stopped my marriage from totally shattering.
I also made the mistake of converting a physical relationship with Maritess into an online one. Little did I realize that she kept “receipts” or screenshots of our sometimes adults-only conversations and now threatens to send them to my family, unless I help her come to New Zealand. Needless to say, I’m only a lowly worker and have little idea how to do so.
Indeed, I’m in a mess that eats me up daily and stresses me out of my wits. I can only blame myself for everything.
I am conflicted about what to do. On the one hand, I want to come clean and confess everything to my wife. I know that this would hurt her deeply, but I feel that I owe it to her to be honest. On the other hand, I am afraid of the consequences of my actions. I fear that my wife will leave me, and that my family will be torn apart.
I am writing to you because I need your advice. What should I do? Should I come clean and confess everything, or should I keep my past a secret and hope that it never catches up with me? I value your opinion, and I hope that you can help me make the right decision.
[in keeping with family preferences, we haven’t identified bro by name, but sheesh, his pic with family’s above. Apologies for not asking first, you wouldn’t have consented, thanks and photo credit to Sis, thanks all for reading! ]
WE CAN OFFER you no more than a slice, a snapshot, just the briefest of eye-blinks really, of our brother on the eve of his birthday.
He is a zip drive of incongruity. He is kind and mean, analytic and spontaneous, super empathetic and super standoffish, ever engaging but also an island to himself, a world-class jokester, but also an organized, penetrating thinker, sometimes shares his thoughts generously but also holds cards close that no one will ever see.
Through my perfect-yet-imperfect relationship with hermano it’s myself I learn about (despite it being his birthday): I’m more than a bit sensitive to words and phrases, particularly when it comes from people you love.
And because he means well, he will often give it to me straight when I’m effing up. He has the pleasure of being a straight shooter when it comes to me, his brother who makes mistakes more often than not . I’m usually hurt, but in the end I realize he tells me as he sees it, and at the end of the day, sino pa ba ang po-point out ng mga mali mo kundi ang kapatid mo?
But enough about me. You will get tired of people who know him saying that my brother is a zany, nothing-sacred politically-incorrect friend-to-all who is good in what he does (HR, marketing and other related business stuff), generous to a fault (I’ve once seen him take off his fairly new shoes and give it to an acquaintance who obviously needed it more) and eternally in love with sports.
The truth is, he’s all of that. BUT, he’s also intensely in love with his wife, maniacally supportive of his daughters, very close to the rest of his family, a reliable and incredibly loyal friend, and forever loyal to the De La Salle Green Archers and his high school mates in St Peter the Apostle School (Manila).
Have I left out anything?
Oh yes. He is the most awesome brother ever.
Love to you from me and everyone else, on the eve of your birthday. And always.
MY BROTHER AND HIS WIFE brought me and Mahal to a JoKoy concert in Auckland (we were still based in Wellington then) late 2010s and though we didn’t know too much about him then, we were about to be pleasantly surprised.
We learned that JoKoy was an A-list comedian who had made it in America, performing before sold-out audiences worldwide, but especially where there Filipino communities, and of course New Zealand was no exception.
As he was starting his standup, Jokoy was in his element, brimming 100% with confidence. He was master of his realm, lord of all he surveyed. It was IMPOSSIBLE for him to have bombed or failed to entertain, as he we’ll get to very soon.
His timing was perfect, his jokes all resonating with the audience, who were probably 95% or more ethnic Filipino. He didn’t actually even have to make jokes, mostly it was stories about his mom raising him, the Filipino cuisine, and, paying it forward, his anecdotes about raising his own son.
In short, it was about himself. He talked about the back story of everyone else in the room. And, needless to say, he was a hit and then some.
Which brings us to more recent events, namely his emceeing of an awards event broadcast all over the country and the rest of the world. As most of us know (unless you’re living in a cave or fasting for 40 days in the desert), our kabayan didn’t do too well.
This is not to defend him, but not attack him either. He has already had too much of the latter (sadly I’ve heard, not the least from kabayan), and too little of the former.
But the empirical and reduced to the ridiculous observations from this amuyong are:
He was entertaining a new crowd. Not hostile ha, pero not used to his brand of humor. He wasn’t in Auckland (see above) where everyone was PREPARED to laugh at his jokes. Hell, we already KNEW what his jokes were gonna be, and most of us were still there to hear it for the nth time.
The butt of his jokes were not well thought out. Of course hindsight is 100%, but looking back, did you have to target Tay-Tay and young Don Vito Corleone, icons of multi-generations, in one spray of saliva? At least be a little more flattering with the jokes if you’re gonna do it at their expense.
What the camera catches is a tricky thing. The whole world now knows how Taylor Swift and Mila Kunis instantly reacted (or not reacted) to JoKoy’s opening monologue. What we can’t know is whether that instant reaction was representative of their whole reactions. What the camera catches is a tricky thing.
There, yun lang ang gusto ko sabihin.
Oh, that undeniably, JoKoy is gonna survive this and do well many times over. Entertainers have done far worse and have recovered many times in the past.
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